The Wrong House

I was and still am a thief, but that experience has made me wonder a lot.
My new friend had driven me there. He had said he had seen a nice house out in the country that seemed to be abandoned but which was loaded with lots of goods. I thought it would be an easy task and without further inquiring we made a plan to break into that house. It was dark but somehow I had that uncanny feeling that I had already been to that place before. It felt as if everything was calling out to me like an old friend.

The place was unusually quiet, no dogs barking whatsoever. Only the noise of the cricket and the leaves rustling in the wind. It was weird. We went in through the kitchen window. We didn't take anything from the kitchen though. The drawing room seemed to contain all the fortunes of the house. We took everything expensive we could lay our hands on, from the TV to the priceless antiques. I like to read a lot so I took the liberty of even stealing the books in the room. We literally raided the drawing room. The other rooms didn't contain many things though. So after about an hour of stealing we came out of the house and drove to my friend's apartment.

I wasn't feeling well and was a bit tired so I told my new accomplice to split the loot while I took some rest. I drank some beer he'd brought and fell on the couch. I slept well that time. I slept like I had never slept before. When I woke up the room was empty except for my share of the loot. I asked the receptionist and she informed me that he had left a message for me. It went something like this-"I have left the city. Forgive me if I have embarrassed you." Making plans to spend the money I took a novel and started to read. The story was familiar. I checked the title and found that I had already read it. Well I took another novel and found that I had already read that one too. I took another and found the same result. I turned over the first page to see who had bought it.

Oh my god! I nearly jumped out of the couch that time. I was totally dumbfounded.

The book was mine. I checked out the other loots too. The antiques looked familiar so did the paintings and so did the jewelry. In fact everything looked familiar. Then I realized what else had seemed familiar and why. The country had seemed familiar and so had the house that we had broken into. The kitchen had smelled familiar and the drawing room had appeared so inviting.

Damn! I had broken into my own summerhouse and I hadn't realized it. The nerd had made a fool out of me. He had made me burgle my own house.

Inquisitive learning - (The Rising Nepal)

Every year it is the same thing. The teachers do their jobs, teach, and the students do theirs, learn. Every final exam the students study and give their exams and some, unluckily, sediment of the same class while others float to the next standard. Are those left behind really dumb or is it just that they can't seem to memorize like others? Is it that they don't know much or is it because they can't seem to hold on to information for long?

Ask me and I'd say that neither are they dumb nor are they unintelligent. I'd say the teaching system is too narrow-minded. Ask me what is wrong and I'd say a whole lot, but for starters I'd stick with the teaching part.

As a student I go to my campus, sit through lectures, sometimes understanding and at other times copying without knowing what is being talked about. I hope to read the note later and clarify, but I end up putting the note in my bag. So there it stays until the next lecture where more gibberish (to me) information is added. Finally the exams come and I look at all the gibberish in my copy. My search for intelligible notes leads me into such a frenzy that in the end I sit at my table cursing myself, cursing my copy, cursing the lecture, cursing the lecturer and cursing everyone and everything that enters my volatile mind. This would probably be my fault but I know I've done better. I've given my exams and passed with flying colors because I studied. I passed not because I understood and memorized, but because I memorized and understood.

This leads one to think of the dilemma that, memorizing then understanding, and understanding then memorizing, offers. All of us should have understood and then memorized but it's the opposite for most of us. Not enough practical experience renders the theory incomprehensible to us. I'd say the teachers, instead of sprinting to finish the course in the limited teaching days (thanks to so many public holidays), should take a jog. Build up the speed in the slow slopes and look around to enjoy the scenery in the up-hills. What I mean to say is just that some topics are easy while some are hard. Take a sprint in the easy section, cover up for the lost time. As for the hard section, go slow. Let the students do some research of their own so that they grasp the topic more firmly. Let them understand and enjoy what a scientist had so carefully discovered or invented. Giving a student extra information is the basis for letting his inquisitive mind search for answers. 'Do not give a hungry man a fish, instead teach him to fish' say wise men, and I say 'mould not the students mind as you want it but help him mould it the way he wants it, by himself.'

But ironically all of us, be it children or educated philosophers all have been through this. We've experienced this and even though we've hated it we carried on with doing our duty. Dutifully we've done our part and the teachers have done theirs. We have not had the time to raise our voices because in the future we will probably become a part of the system. Some of us will probably be the teachers we so disliked and, without realising it, we will be a part of the system. A system that treats us like zombies, gives us a few facts to digest hoping that some of us will probably snap out of the zombie phase and give a hand in maintaining the system.

But this is not something that is incurable. Every epidemic has a cure. The only thing it needs is time and understanding to cure. Let us no be what the system has planned for us. We have a cure and we must use it to rid our society of this hinderance. In this wild sprint to the finish the course in the allotted limited time do not spoon-feed the student all the answers but give him your guidance, support, help, and in time see for yourself the fruits of your labour being served to you in a silver platter by a truly educated person.

In Phase with fm -- (The Friday Suppliment)

'Video killed the radio star…' that's one song I've not heard in a long time. But now the phrase does not sound quite right.

It wasn't long ago that most evenings I turned the TV off and listened to the radio. That was the beginning of the fm craze that still lurks wild amidst the younger ones of our society. It started with just a few programmes on air and now we marvel at what that tiny experimentation has blossomed into. Concentrating at the populous capital it probably has more faithful listeners than it could have imagined of and this number is not at the least on the decrease.

What probably enabled it to be a success was that it was new, innovative and on-track with the young at heart. The latter one probably being the most significant one. FM entwined these young people into a sort of free society much like MTV had done in the eighties. It was a platform where new music was played, where they could voice themselves from the crowd, where the people behind the microphone understood their desire for music and gave it to them. Kathmanduities tired of the mundane programmes of the state run radio service had a new source of music. Hit's fm was quite right in saying -'Hits you where it matters' and it hasn't changed a bit. Fitting in for fm wasn't a big deal either because almost everybody likes change. Besides, the society already had a niche in their hearts for such welcome changes and took in the new fad with open arms.

Here the use the word fad isn't that inappropriate because there were times, when fm was still in its infancy, that some of my friends took pride in their listening to fm. Much like the pride in wearing a new set of designer clothes, better if french designed. A mixed feeling of peer pressure and inquisitiveness present in all youngsters also proved a winning hand in favour of fm. But some who thought it just only as a fashion accessory probably didn't realise that this one was a fad that had come to stay. Their short-sightedness has already been proved wrong by the array of numerous programmes being aired everyday at different frequencies. These probably seem to laugh right at their faces and those good humoured short-sighters have come in terms to laugh along at their own follies.
The single frequency that pioneered this whole fm entertainment biz was to bring about a series of other fm stations popping out with their own frequencies and their own distinctive class of music and RJ's. Among them the oldest being Hit's fm, which still has maintained it's distinctiveness, and not to forget the more informative HBC, which not only plays global music but gives a whole deal of extra information. Could it get better?

But fm's reach lay not just in captivating its listeners to open their ears but it also ignited an even greater passion for creating music. The musically inclined who had lain dormant stirred awake and now the nepalese music industry is bubbling with new bands, new sounds, new faces and new music ever on the increase. Great music and numerous bands, and an even larger number of garage bands just waiting to contribute something to the nepalese music industry.

Then there are other contemporary media, which surfaced at about the same time, like cable T.V. and of course not to forget the ever increasing internet. The internet has also captured the minds and hearts of numerous nepalese here and abroad. Even though it is comprehensible to surf the net while listening to fm it's a better solution to make fm global without the need to set up new radio towers. And what better notion than this to make fm available via the net. Such has been done too. Now for those of us who miss our home and friends can give our messages and not feel so left out of home with just a click of the lil' mouse.

Now with more fm stations to choose from its no wonder that I find myself turning the dial to another frequency whenever the programme starts to sound boring. But fm has really got me in its grip because I can't seem to concentrate on my studies with fm playing in the background. Daily studies would have been an exception but listening during exam was going a bit off-track. I meant to stop this fancy but it seems like something is missing when I turn the radio off. So now the fm plays on even while I study. And this piece of write-up is no exception for in the background the radio is now playing the song I've been meaning to hear for quite a while - 'video killed the radio star………'

Where Do I Belong? (The SundayPost)

"Down there is the famous Dharahara,…. straight ahead lies the Rani Pokhari ………and a bit on your right is the Ghantaghar….." says our guide and I eagerly look down. I see green everywhere, like a sea covered with green algae, and amongst them I see three squarish looking barren land with a few traces of what seems as rock and rubble. The guide on our cruise-plane sees the disappointment in most of our faces and begins to explain. I don't pay much attention to him. I'm already in my own world of my thoughts. I catch a few of his phrases here and there, understanding only that in the past few decades Nepal has undergone a massive change and metamorphosized into a sanctuary. The rest of what I hear seems gibberish.

In my thoughts, I'm with my parents in the old Nepal somewhere in the mid 2000. We leave for America in an attempt to re-establish ourselves and make a different identity for ourselves. But this was just a misty excuse. Once in the US the sun shone and the mist vanished. We were more bent on keeping our identity than making a new one. Faced with the hardships of everyday life, we cursed the day we left our home back in Nepal. However, we managed and had a life much like in Nepal in our Nepalese community. But what we did is of no major concern. What happened to Nepal from 2010-20 was our concern even in our small Nepalese community in the States. So many people started going abroad that the population of the country was at its lowest. Most had gone to the neighbouring Asian countries but nevertheless they had abandoned their motherland. In addition to that, most of these did not return. Instead they got a citizenship of that country. Nepal's foreign aid was also climbing up. So what happened ??? I've asked myself this question a thousand times but still I've never quite got the answer. I admit…..(sprattle..chug…..). "ugh…!", I say in disgust. The guide tells us - a bit embarrassed - " hee…hee…hee…corruption. Never quite goes away does it!" ( damn it! Why can't the government be more careful with only a few thousand people to look after. Let's continue.) I admit that Nepal was huge on debt and high on foreign aids but that doesn't mean that the powerful could do such a thing to our country and our pride. What they did was a huge backlash to our pride. The countries got together, took advantage of the political instability, and named Nepal as the worlds only and biggest - 'International Wildlife Park '. The words 'only' and 'biggest' were supposed to be a sort of consolation or a form of international pride. But, what pride is there when it makes you feel like you sold out your own country. They made a mockery of us and we were supposed to join in the fun. The surprising thing is that we did! There was a mutual and written agreement from both parties as the Government of Nepal and the Representative for the International Countries exchanged contracts and had a grand party to rejoice such an occasion. But rejoice they did, my foot! they rejoiced the end of our country and the dawn of their own country, a country they could manipulate and use.

" Coming up you will see the beautiful Phewa lake and if you look carefully you can see……." His voice trails off as I continue my conversation with my thoughts. Then what happened? I think. Then what else was to happen. The government gave the rest of the people, except for the few thousand, a new citizenship and sent them off to foreign land to start a new life. Most of the other countries agreed to grant citizenship to the Nepalese already present. And a few others had to be convinced with a bit of the earning that came from the tourists that visited the 'International Wildlife Park'. I don't think I'd ever seen such an unanimous agreement by powerful countries.

My thoughts take me to another aspect of the matter as I watch some of the kids in the cruise-plane eagerly looking out of the window and asking questions to their parents. What am I supposed to tell my children when they ask about their true homeland. Will I be telling them that I grew up in what is now a jungle. That - where now the animals sleep I used to sleep and where animals now play was where I used to pray. And what about their ancestry? Do I tell them that there is pride in once belonging to a country which is now an international sanctuary. Whatever I tell them I guess I'll be back to square one - no Nepal, so where do I belong?

Abroad

(published "The Friday Suppliment" 2001)

So I sit: totally bored.

What a day to have! The rain pouring outside, no electricity and to add the icing -I'm depressed.

I've just spoken with one of my friends. Well I'd actually called to raise my spirits but now it seems like I'd called the wrong person.

Nothing actually in what he said depressed me though. I should actually be happy for him. He's going abroad to the land of opportunities, the US. He's got his visa, flight confirmed and above all - a scholarship.

At first I was happy for him after all he was my best friend.

Everyone dreams of going abroad for further studies specially after completing ones Higher Secondary. I'd never been an exception and neither had he been one, except he hadn't much faith in himself. But with some reasoning and after attending some seminars I'd finally convinced him to have faith in himself. Due to some reasons though I couldn't apply but he'd gone through hell choosing the proper university, applying and planning everything. I give him credit for all that. But now after talking to him, thinking about it I find that I am not quite as happy now as I was just a few minutes before when I was listening to his excited voice stammering and telling me- ' Kno…know what! I'm going abroad.' Both of us were really happy then.

I'm unhappy not because I, who initiated the whole studying abroad prospect and that I am not going but my friend (who was like an innocent bystander) is going. No. The green faced jealousy has definitely not reared its head within me. It's something different and its what most of us fear – loneliness.

Now I am faced with the terrible truth and it makes me feel glum. I'm sad, not because of my friend's good news, but because most of my good buddies are already on their way abroad. All had plans to go abroad specially after completing their I.Sc. and now all of us are going away in separate directions not knowing when we shall meet again. It's like this pre-planned drama in which the God manipulates us to meet then separate-preparing us for further such separations in the future. No grudges what-so-ever with the Lord though. But it's just that feeling of loneliness that will not go away. In fact which will go on ever increasing specially after I see all my buddies leave Home-Sweet-Home, one by one. The truth I face is that we're separating and I'm not so fond of separation.

I look at my mother watching me and I myself am surprised when I tell her - 'we don't know what we've got until we lose it.'

And she adds with that grace-of-age voice-" It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives."

I kiss my mom for this and now wait. Wait.…wait….and wait…. for a new chapter to begin. A new chapter that I didn't know existed.